Showing up for myself, even when it's hard

This week has felt heavy, draining and it's fair to say I'm exhausted. My cold from last week turned into a sinus infection that I just can't shake - no taste, no smell and muffled hearing makes for one very easily overstimulated mama!

I notice when I go through a week like this I miss my "old life" aka life before children. The time when my time was, well, mine. I had control over what happened when and if I needed some solitude I could have it in spades. Now don't get me wrong, I CHOSE this life. This is not a complaint, simply a reflection. A reflection on how easy it was to show up for myself when I didn't have dependents.

Weeks like these always bring me back to the question of how I can integrate the practices I cherished so much prior to children into our life now, and honestly, it's been a journey. One that seems to have me circling though seasons of being really committed, and seasons of letting everything slide. I start to question my ability to stick it out through hard times, but then gently remind myself that I show up for my kids EVERY day, even if I can't give 100%, caring for them even when I'd rather curl up in bed and sleep. So I wonder... why is it so hard to show up for myself everyday, despite knowing just how important it is? Is it because they're the things that are the easiest to let go of with no immediate consequences? 

I came across a reel on Instagram by Cru Mahoney that said "Do something everyday for the sake of showing up." I slept on this and woke up the next day wondering how I could show up for myself, everyday, in even the most simple of ways. Something so simple that it won't be pushed aside when things get hard. What can I do that's going to make me that little bit better each and every day that I can slowly build on and prove to myself that I can show up for me. Maybe it doesn't look the same as it did pre-children, but it's ok for me to put myself first. Because let's be honest, when I go down, everything goes down! And while the little things I do to show up for myself may not seem like a lot at the time (and therefore easy to let slide), they're the things that keep my cup from being empty. If I'm not showing up for myself each and every day, then eventually the cup does drain completely and that's when I find myself in situations like I mentioned above - exhausted, resentful and burnt out.

So, this is me choosing to show up for myself in baby steps. Right now I'm starting with simple things that are easy to integrate, don’t take too long and can fit into pockets of time throughout the day.

Daily: getting sunlight into my eyes as soon as I wake up each morning, Organic Reds and Greens by Bio Blends, a meditation / breath practice, being in bed ready for sleep by 10pm. 

2-3x per week: journaling, exercising (strength session guided by a trainer), reading 10+ pages in a book, 

Weekly: an hour long self connection session (card pulls, life audits, visioning/goals check ins), face and body self massage. 

This list feels manageable and I’m choosing to commit to them even when it gets tough, all with the end goal of building the muscle of showing up for myself. Just like in the gym, when that load starts to feel light and easy, I can stack something new on. I can't wait to meet my future self.

How do you show up for yourself every day?

J xx